How To Keep Sane While Working From Home With Kids
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I’m Susan. I help leaders and organizations increase their impact, confidence, and results through coaching and unique people strategies and programs that wow employees and boost business!
5 Keys To Avoid Burnout While Working From Home With Kids
Ok, let’s face it…none of us signed up for this, but here we are once again. School starts in just a few short weeks and distance learning is something us career moms will need to gear up to manage this Fall, while we continue working from home with kids (if you are lucky enough to still have a job and work remotely). It’s enough to make you want to hibernate through the rest of the year, but there is hope.Our Spring experience was a sort of trial run and we now have a better idea of what works and what doesn’t. So now, it’s time for us to learn from the past and do things a bit differently. In discussions with my clients and colleagues and drawing from my own experience, I’ve compiled a list of 5 key things we can do differently for a better experience this Fall:
Prioritize your own health and wellness.
You know the old adage that you have to put on your own face mask before assisting others…well, this is especially true now.
Prioritize space for yourself and nourish your relationships. Whether it’s taking time off from work, leveraging preventative and supportive mental health apps and tools offered by your insurance provider, leaning on employee resource groups for support, or simply scheduling and taking regular breaks throughout your workday, focusing on your well-being and doing something daily will sustain you so you can best serve those around you. Working from home with kids is not easy, so grab your kiddos (or dog) and head out for a walk to break up the day, clear your head, and get some exercise in.
2. Reset on expectations.
First, adjust your expectations of yourself and others. We’re in survival mode right now, so now is not the time for perfection. Be gentle with yourself and others. Allow yourself (and others) some slack, as we’re all doing the best we can under the circumstances.
Assess how you spend your time each day & prioritize based on your values and capacity. Maybe things aren’t as organized or clean at home as you’d like them to be. No one will die as a result. Enlist the help of your family members with household chores. You don’t have to (and shouldn’t) do it all yourself. Now is a great time to reset on roles and responsibilities and teach your kids some great life skills in the process. And maybe they can’t do it as well as you do yet, but that’s OK!
Be sure to have an open and regular dialogue with your partner, boss, your child’s teacher on your current workload and constraints (both at work and at home) so you can level-set on realistic goals, deadlines, and deliverables and determine what help is needed. Explore whether a flexible work schedule is possible and what that might look like in practice. Focus the conversation on work results and outcomes, not hours worked.
And don’t be afraid to push back and say “no” when you know it’s just not possible. Be ready to propose an alternative that you can commit to. It’s better to under-commit and over-deliver. Bosses and teachers would rather compromise on a deliverable or timeline than end up surprised by a slipped deadline or failed project.
3. Communicate effectively.
Be sure to tell others what you need and ask for help. This applies to everyone from your boss to your co-workers to your partner to your child’s teacher. Now is not the time to be the hero.
Set fair and realistic limits. Agree with your family on times during the day when you’ll take a break and be available to catch up. Determine who’s in charge of dinner planning and prep.
Leverage video conferencing when it’s important to gauge non-verbal reactions or build relationships, but be aware of “Zoom” fatigue. Not all meetings require video, nor does everything require a meeting. Think about other communication tools that would be suitable for the quick question (i.e., Slack). If presenting on Zoom, adjust your settings so you don’t view your own image the entire time, but do remember you’re still on camera!
Create a visual, daily schedule for your family to get everyone on the same page as to what to expect. Print and color code so everyone knows when important meetings are (quiet time) and when breaks are. This is especially helpful for younger kids.
At the end of the day, debrief what went well, what didn’t go well, and what we should try tomorrow. Experiment and iterate to see what works best for you and your family.
4. Work flexibly, but set boundaries.
The name of the game is to minimize disruptions. stay focused, and manage your time.
Select a dedicated workspace where you can set up comfortably and focus. Same for your school-aged kiddos. Use signage such as a “do not disturb” sign or a red/green card on the door or back of your laptop to signify to when you’re busy or available for questions or brief interruptions. Wear headphones to help keep your focus when noise is a factor. It’s also a great indicator to others that you are busy and can’t be interrupted.
Make it a practice to end meetings 10-15 minutes earlier to allow yourself space to set up your kids for their next activity or online class, give yourself a bio break, get a snack/drink, stretch, etc. Book these small chunks of time on your calendar so you have the breathing room you need and the kids get the little bursts of your attention they need to keep interruptions to a minimum.
Consider proposing one meeting-free day per week to your boss and work team so you can spend some focused, heads-down time on completing tasks (instead of just discussing what needs to get done), while having greater flexibility during the day to attend to family matters.
Set aside 15 minutes in the last hour or two of your workday to plan for the following day. Do a complete brain dump and review your task list for items that remain open. Prioritize action items and time-block your calendar for the next day. Remember to be realistic as to what you can accomplish in a day and be sure to allocate time throughout the day for you and your family. Encourage your older kids (older elementary through high school) to do this as well! This end-of-day planning helps you feel more prepared for the next morning and enables you to disconnect for the night so you can be more present with your family.
For more ideas and details on setting healthy boundaries, check out my eGuide, "5 Steps to Setting Boundaries for Success".
5. Keep your kids busy and happy.
Help them to be independent by having their computer, books, games, workbooks at the ready and snacks within reach. Use your 10-15 minutes between meetings to provide them with short bursts of your undivided attention. Consider creating a “pod” with another family or two for greater social interaction for the kiddos and/or as a supplement to distance learning. Remember to balance academic time with fun activities and unstructured, free choice time.
For younger babies and toddlers, work in shifts with your partner or other adult. Trade “on-call” time with deep/focused work time. When “on-call” do work that doesn’t require your full brain power such as filing, expenses, reviewing emails, etc.
For young elementary, schedule their activities (online learning, puzzles, games, books, art supplies). Aim for 5 minutes of your hands-on time to get 30-45 mins of work time. Leverage free educational resources like Khan Academy Kids and Scholastic. Let someone else do the read-alouds: Amazon Alexa Storytime, Audible Kids, Podcasts for Kids, and Storytime from Space are all great options!
For older elementary/middle/high school kids, give them agency to pick and choose from a list of pre-approved activities and create their own schedule (beyond their distance learning schoolwork) and reward them for managing their own time. Give them a project to manage (i.e., prepare lunch or dinner for the family).
Ditch your guilt over screen time! These are unusual times and your kids will not be harmed by entertaining themselves with a screen for a few additional hours a day. DO be sure to enable parental controls so you can monitor and control the content your child is able to view!
Need more ideas on how to successfully integrate your work with your home life? Check out my blog: 7 Tips for Balancing Work and Home and SHRM’s article: Working from Home With Kids? How to Manage the Impossible.
I would love to hear your ideas and strategies you plan to employ this coming quarter/semester so you stay sane and keep your career on track while you are working from home with kids. Share your ideas in the comments below.
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